Some people may be making this year their year to find love; however, before you take that plunge into a serious relationship, make sure that you have the following basis covered:


Know and Own Your Personality

I can recall countless times while dating that I would lie about what type of music I liked, pretend that I knew about something in which I really had no knowledge and mute my opinions, all to impress a guy that wasn't right for me.

It was also way too easy for me to take on several personality changes that were attributes of the person that I was dating without even realizing that I was changing. When you know your personality and can own it with pride, it is easier to be more confident in who you are. Self-confidence is one of the most important aspects to being in a healthy relationship.

Find Your Best Friend

I cannot emphasize how important it is to find your true best friend before getting in a serious relationship. A true best friend should be like family; someone that you do not envy and someone that has your best interest in mind.

Not only is it important to have a best friend to help you distinguish Mr. Right from Mr. Wrong, but it is equally important to have a friend other than your significant other to confide in. Nobody wants to feel like the clingy one in the relationship, so it is important to have someone else to hang out with some of the times.

Build Something That You Are Proud Of

No, this does not mean to brush up on your wood shop skills (though, it could). Maybe you have always wanted to pursue a talent, say guitar or writing a blog. Maybe you are making yourself ready for a new job or acceptance into a new program. Maybe you have always wanted to start a business.

Whatever it is, don't let anything stop you from doing so. People can sometimes get lazy in relationships (I have no idea why, but it has been my experience), so it would be terrible to later regret not achieving a goal.

Gain Some Self-Worth and Emotional Stability

Your significant other will tell you that you are the most beautiful person in the world, but you shouldn't have to rely on their words to know this to be true. Everyone has something that bothers them, but it shouldn't make you feel like less of a person. It is normal to go through moments of depression, but it is not healthy to be consistently stressed to the point of tears about something that is apart of  your life, whether it be your appearance, your abilities or your current state in life.

Accept Where You Are in Life...or Do Something About it

My ex-boyfriend used to constantly down himself about the fact that he had a late academic start since he was home-schooled all of his life. He compared himself to other people that were his age and felt that he should have already accomplished some of the things that he was working towards. This way of thinking is not healthy. He only saw where he wanted to be, yet he didn't give tribute to all of the steps that he had taken to get to where he is today.

While he was not in school, like other people his age, he was able to gain a lot of work and life experience that has qualified him for jobs that most people straight out of college do not qualify for. Before you get into a relationship, it is important to be content with your abilities or to be working towards something that will better you as an individual.

Date Yourself

This point goes back to point #1. By dating yourself, most people think about taking yourself out to dinner and movie or going shopping alone. This is definitely not what I mean, You can date yourself with other people. Go to that concert in another city with your friends, hang out with people after work, live a single's life with no shame. I am so happy that my boyfriend and I have experienced so many different things together, but I am also happy that I have several experiences that I have had without him.


  • Show Comments

  • Symone

    My life! I’ve been struggling with some of these for the longest! I’m starting to have hope again and the courage to be open to love again while being understood. How long have you guys been dating? #goals

  • Tiara

    Being in a serious relationship is something that I don’t have high on my list, but I can’t help but fantasize about it! I don’t even want to but it’s entertaining to think about lol this article is on point, you are so spot with these is frightening! Thank you for sharing!!

  • Alana

    Before, finding a significant other was my top priority. I’d say it was top 5 on my To-do list. But now that I’m working, have started my blog ( witch is something that I always wanted to do) and starting my first year of college pretty soon, it sits at 8 now.

  • Tatianah

    Love this! Focusing on my finances and challenging myself socially and emotionally to be open for when the time is right to be in a relationship.

  • T.

    Great blog! I’ve been focusing on emotional and financial stability. To me, the single life is definitely eye-opening and rewarding because it allows the opportunity to know more about myself and exposes areas that may need improvement.

Comments are closed.