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Who doesn’t like a good slasher film? Especially one that’s been reprised since 1978. Halloween was the latest film for us horror lovers and premiering right around our favorite holiday of the same name. However, some of us have strong feelings about the 11th film in the franchise, myself having some of the strongest.

This movie was trash. There! I said it. I know it’s hard to swallow but its my personal truth. Stop making these damn movies.

Lets start with the trailer. These are the gatekeepers (other than reading the books) that let you know if a film is worth seeing. They can be misleading, give away the whole damn story or not tell you anything at all. In the case of 2018’s Halloween, the trailer was completely misleading. Hell, even the poster and tagline were misleading! “Face Your Fate,” is the tag of the film that centers around Jamie Lee Curtis reprising her role as Laurie Strode, the sister of Michael Myers. After ten previous films, two of which you can’t even really count in the franchise (thanks, Rob Zombie) we have reached what we think is the pinnacle of the story. Forty years after the unfortunate events that took place on Halloween that left their older sister dead at the hands of a 6-year-old Michael, Laurie has become known as the town loon for her superstitions about her brother’s impending return.

Having set up her own fortress and becoming equipped with some of the best kill-a-bitch gear around, her newfound town name doesn’t seem to phase her as she’s certain that Michael is coming back for her. Well, she’s right. But lets talk about all the unnecessary, empty plot holes that lead up to an even more unsatisfying ending with an even bigger plot hole/cliffhanger/disappointment.

Okay, so these two…I don’t remember their names and I don’t care what their names are because they literally do not last long enough to make ANY impression on the film. These two journalists traveled all the way from the UK are doing some podcast on serial killers or whatever and they’re interested in Michael’s disturbing past. Okay, cool. Wouldn’t it be even cooler if the movie followed them as they kept trying to track Michael down after he escaped? Perhaps telling it from their perspective? Yea, that does sound cool. It also doesn’t happen. In fact, the trailer gives away their whole story from encountering Michael with the mask to the disgusting bathroom that he finds them in to retrieve his mask and effectively killing them. That’s it. Gone. Why were they important again? Ah, just so he could somehow get his mask back…Oh, and don’t ask why the feds would give two journalists a serial killer’s mask…clearly evidence, but what do I know?

In this film we’re introduced to Laurie Strode’s estranged daughter, Karen (Judy Greer, Ant-Man) and granddaughter, Allyson (Andi Matichak, Orange Is The New Black). Because of Laurie’s intense training and behavior the relationship between her and Karen has always been rocky. I mean, if you were taken away from your loony mother at 12 years old you wouldn’t exactly be close either. While the strained relationships are implied, we do see that Laurie and her granddaughter are closer than she and her daughter. However there’s still no real setup for the cliffhanger that is seeing Allyson with the iconic butcher knife when all is said and done…

So speaking of “when all is said and done”…NOTHING IS OVER! This has to be my biggest gripe about the film. Anyone with common sense knows that it’s not over until you see a corpse. WE SEE NOTHING! After going through the motions to set up an elaborate, fiery death, we are left with uncertainty.  Sure, we see Michael on fire looking at Laurie as he apparently burns to death but the next time we see the basement on fire he is nowhere to be found. KILL THIS MAN ALREADY! Lead him to a guillotine, through a blender, barbed wire, something! The whole point of this film was to finally put an end to it and it did just the opposite. Where in this film is it strongly implied that Laurie’s granddaughter would either one: Carry on her legacy in trying to kill Michael or two: Become a killer herself? It’s not there. Stop trying to make this work.

With what could’ve been a strong plot and perfect end, Halloween was nothing short of a cinematic disappointment that was barely worthy of the jump scares.

 

 

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