There are so many misconceptions on what it means to be Black in America, not only from White Americans, but also from Black Americans.

Before being quirky, dyeing your hair pastel colors and liking alternative music as a Black person became as acceptable as it is becoming now,  many Black people were questioned or bullied about their so-called “White people” behaviors.

Over those years, Black people with these behaviors have been able to find other Black people with similar interests by labeling themselves as “quirky Black people”, “alternative Black people”, “carefree Black people” or “soft Black girls” on the internet. Of course, we would love to leave the “Black” adjective out of it and just be considered as people with interests, but our society isn’t that evolved yet.

What I find funny is that the same Black people that picked on Black people for being quirky and alternative are now upset that we are proudly labeling ourselves this way. I’ve been attacked so many times online from so-called, “pro-Black” people who think that I hate myself or am complaining about something. I’ve talked to other online creators who consider themselves to be quirky, alternative, goth or soft, and they have been given the same backlash.

So not to speak for every quirky, alternative, goth or soft Black person out there, but we are tired of these attacks in the name of “pro-Blackness”. If Black people can call themselves “boujee” and “savage” without their pro-Blackness being challenged, what’s wrong with others calling themselves, quirky or alternative while also being pro-Black?

In short, here are 7 things that we are tired of hearing from other Black people:

1. So you want to be White?

2. Well, Rock music originated from African Americans, you know!

Sooo….why are you still mad that I listen to it?

3. Why do you hate yourself?

I’d say that after about a decade of getting your identity questioned, having a few self-identity crises, and living to tell the story, you learn to love yourself and your Blackness.

4. What, you think you are special because you listen to different music?

You said that…not me.

5. So what you got picked on for liking different music and dying your hair! There are more important things to worry about. You just want a reason to complain.

When you’ve been silenced and put down for so long for being yourself and finally get the courage to say something, you speak. It doesn’t matter if it’s becoming more socially acceptable. People are still complaining about things that happened decades and centuries ago. Why can’t we talk about issues that are as recent as a few years ago? Don’t silence us the way that you wouldn’t want to be silenced.

6. Why do you consider yourself quirky, alternative, goth or soft? You got a problem with just being a regular Black person?

The same reason you consider yourself “bad & boujee”…

7. What’s your problem with hip hop/rap/R&B? 

Who said that you can’t listen to more that a handful of various music genres? This is news to me…

Read Also: What It Is Like Being Called “The White Kid” in Your Black Family

So in other words, what we like, what we listen to, the way we talk and the way we dress doesn’t make anyone more or less Black.

What off the wall comments have you received for being yourself?


  • Show Comments (10)

  • Morgan MacKey

    Thanks you! Black is black is black is black. End of discussion.

  • Torie

    Yeees! I grew up feeling so out of place because I loved alternative music and dressing differently. I was lame because of the way I spoke because it was "talking white" or "too proper". Yeah I grew up in the hood, yeah I’m black but does that mean I have to be a clone? We are all different and our interests shouldn’t be limited to what most people consider the norm. Thank you for this post!

  • NoirAussi

    I can understood a lot of the points made except for the one where they said "People are still complaining about things that happened decades and centuries ago…" I’m going to assume that this person is talking about slavery, Jim Crow, segregation, racial discrimination and issues of this nature. There’s just nothing comparable to those issues. Battles with self-identity will never compare to the long-lasting effects of these atrocities. Especially when you mention that "Alternative Blackness" is becoming more accepted. Black Americans still live in a society that refuses to recognize the atrocities it has committed upon them. You’d be pretty naive and egotistical to think that someone questioning your taste in music or fashion is comparable to that. Though I agree people shouldn’t question your blackness based on style and personality, it is still a false comparison to the other issues mentioned.

    • Bryanda Law

      I greatly appreciate you taking the time to both read and comment on this post. As the author of this post (and creator of this website), I would like to say that it is definitely not fair to assume that I am referring to slavery, Jim Crow, etc. Nothing in the post, in my opinion, insinuates to that assumption and the naivety that you suggest that follows. The whole purpose of the article is that you can have a variety of interests while also loving your Blackness, so I thought it would be obvious that I was referring to complaining in general, regardless of ethnic background, and not something as detrimental and grandiose as the repercussions of slavery. Regardless, thank you for taking out the time to share your assumptions and opinions.

  • Amber Lynn

    I literally had a guy, about six months ago, accuse me of wanting to bleach my skin because of the music I listen to. I am so glad I found this post. Thank you. <3

  • Brandie E

    Story of my whole ass life!!! And it really doesn’t help that I actually sound like I could be Caucasian but I can’t change my voice. Love this!!

  • Linda

    Why is the first time I’ve seen this blog!! Omg! This is my life EVERYDAY!! Love this!

  • Janine T.

    This is the post I needed more than 16 years ago when I was accused of "talking white" dressing like a "teacher because I liked blazers rather than Jordan’s in my feet and being a Beethoven lover because I was in honors classes; when in actuality I was more of a mix between Phil Collins, Capone N’ Noreaga, and Fiona Apple type. Love this post!

  • Aliyah

    My whole life in one post! This was so so so so so so needed about 6 years ago. At this point, my reactions are almost exactly like the gifs…

  • TC’s Views

    I’ve heard every single one. And what’s worse, my kids who are 22 and 20 have experienced the same. Thanks for continuing to write, explain and share our quirks. I’ll keep reading and spreading the word. Please keep up the good work.

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